


Descent

by Dreamfang



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: Blood and Violence, Gen, Insanity, POV First Person, Self-Harm, feral androids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 07:32:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12812688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamfang/pseuds/Dreamfang
Summary: These logs were recovered from some creature, though it's contents are rather... unsettling, to put it simply.





	Descent

**Author's Note:**

> Got inspired by Tank's Tumblr post about these feral androids and wanted to try write a sort of journal esc story for this. Enjoy comment if you liked it.

Log 01 - Time [00:30:00]

This is YoRHa unit 20E, beginning frequent audio reports due to a lack of connection to the Bunker. Signal is non-existent here and honestly, I am not exactly sure where my location is. This log should it return will serve the function of providing Operators with information I cannot currently send. It is more efficient in this way as resting to type these logs will prove particularly more bothersome. To begin the formal report, I regained consciousness as of… 30 minutes ago it seems, though I failed to recall immediately starting the logs at that point. Location of my restart, I would estimate, is north of the forest kingdom. Currently in a lifeless plain with no hostiles or animals around. It is unnerving due to the fact that machines tend to frequent the outer areas that YoRHa does not monitor. Regardless, any outside information should be appreciated by the Operators.

 

Log 02 - Time [01:23:47]

Environment has shifted to a desert-like region, the sun being brighter here than previously. Currently experiencing vertigo, though if it is from the heat or the dead feeling from walking, I cannot confirm currently. Still no signs of life or hostiles, however there seems to be a building of sorts not far from my current location. I hesitate to explore it, but there is no logical reason behind that with the lack of enemies present. Will continue once I’ve reached a suitable area within the structure.

 

Log 04 - Time [02:02:10]

Something feels off here. It is too quiet, even for an abandoned structure. Electricity is still flowing, so perhaps I can send a signal back to the Bunker. Of course, there is still a fair amount of ground to cover inside here. Judging from the wall maps here and there, this structure is fairly large, making it difficult to navigate. I am avoiding the areas with darkness as it is unlikely any current is flowing in there. It only seems to be the paths on the right, no light on the other side. This leaves me with one side to navigate, knowing my luck today, all the technological items are on the other side. Continuing on regardless, will update later.

 

Log 05 - Time [06:14:27]

That was reckless of me, though I suppose it is in my nature. Woke up on the floor, barely noticed that I passed out and with a much higher core temperature… 4 hours, then? Perhaps it is wise to leave, but there is one more room on this path, may as well explore it before leaving…

It is much hotter here, where it is coming from, I would assume is the dislodged piping on the other side of the room. Whatever collection of liquid metal is clinging onto it does not look safe. I will just remain near the entrance, it is not as though there are documents to salvage here, only other dead Androids, not YoRHa but they still seem different from Resistance members. They are much darker and also disfigured. Is that… metal, not sure what type, but there is metal protruding from… Everywhere. No idea where it begins or ends. Something like a ‘freak accident’... I am going to exit now, this place has affected me in some way, but I cannot confirm how at present.

 

Log 07 - Time [07:34:57]

Is it normal to feel sick? I mean, we are YoRHa, designed to withstand anything the machines could use against us, yet the vertigo is still present… and… oh wait… System error indicates that I have lost 10% in total MP. That has not happened since the Resistance Camp I… Oh wait, classified to the Commander. Sorry, but that is how it goes… Anyway, I will monitor my system condition more closely now, perhaps the sickness is not just that.

 

Log 08 - Time [08: 30: 24]

MP is down by 15% now. Definitely not due to a lack of water or cooling in my system. Black Box temperature is going down slowly now that I’ve left the desert climate. I would initiate a self maintenance sequence, but this sense of… paranoia I believe? It is preventing me from doing it currently. I’ll keep my pace, taking the direction I came from and altering the angle, just to avoid the ravine… Right, mention to the Commander that the mission she assigned to me has failed if she is not aware yet.

 

Log 09 - Time [11:02:52]

I know I should be keeping these logs hourly, but there was really nothing major to report, unless Operators are avid fans of endless terrain and tiny integer increments. Odd feeling’s gone, but uh… Well, it is somewhat difficult to find the logic behind this but… There’s been an itching sensation and alas, I do not possess the self control of a B-Type to ignore it. Ended up tearing my sleeve, but that’s not a problem… Suppose the problem is the exposed ceramic now. Avoided the muscle pretty well, but it is a bloody affair either way. Is this what the other E-Types referred to as ‘self-harm’? I can feel the appeal right now honestly, and it is almost distracting… Ah right, one more question to add to the list: can YoRHa androids hunger, or is it a stimulant to frequently attack machines? I think I’ll just take the hit and perform maintenance right now, near a rocky area, so surely there is somewhere to hide away to do it.

 

Log 13 - Time [16:02:08]

Deleted the logs between 9 and now, mostly repeats of what I was trying to confirm, a waste of time as well. Nothing’s wrong in my systems, but MP is down by 24% now… Has any ground unit been told what it means, or is it just an average of our entire systems? Everything’s still at 100% aside from MP. I’m gonna keep walking, log when something interesting comes up.

 

Log 14 - Time [17: 50:59]

MP’s down 30%, this hunger’s now pretty much a priority, might have to sate it somehow, but I can feel the fatigue setting in despite only walking. Suppose it is justified considering the blackouts and moving for so damn long… I’m concerned of the former. Usually such instances only happen after a long combat high settles… Guess I am going in the right direction, can finally see trees instead of just grass and rocks… Pretty sure if I just turned around near log 1 I would have made it back to YoRHa’s influence by now.

 

Log 15 - Time [20:00:24]

Shouldn’t have said that, shouldn't have opened my damn mouth about that… Fainted again, MP’s down… 45%? It’s accelerating, but why? Actually… I don’t remember this place. Maybe the hunger has numbed the time and feeling as well as…

 

Log 16 - Time [20:03:10]

Split the log ‘cause I just noticed something. Lost a finger, fourth on the right. Can’t remember how though, but it wasn't recent since the nanomachines have sealed the wound. No glove either, least whatever happened, it was sensible. Ah, there it is. At least the pain receptors are fine despite their hinderance. Operators and their stiff rule about never disabling them… Tch.

 

Log 17 - Time [20:45:08]

Finally! Didn't expect to be so happy about seeing a machine, but here we are. They’re dead though, seeming… uh… corroded? Devoured? The word isn’t coming to me. And their deaths aren't natural by our standards. Maybe a new machine type? I’d hate to… no. No emotions, and I won’t get berated because of this monologuing… Anyway, gonna see if I can’t salvage some data from it. Wouldn't want to encounter the same beast here, not with… ah crap.

 

Log 18 - Time [21:03:10]

Yeah, uh, no data there. Just noticed the MP drop past 50% now, yet my energy outmatches the core inside me. Almost as if I could take the strength and tear that other building apart. The hunger’s back though, bit concerned about that honestly. Maybe I’ll review my time in the desert building and figure out what happened… That is, after I tear this thing apart!

 

Log 19 - Time [21:10:02]

Oh god… Don't know what happened there. Didn't black out, don't worry, just… Uh… I realised a bit too late that I was… eating the boar. I don’t know why I did that… wait… formal speech 20E… come on you’re… you are better than that… anyway clearly it was enjoyable, with all this blood but I outta… should get rid of it. Just because I cannot smell anything does not mean machines can't.

 

Log 21 - Time [22:05:02]

Think I didn't spend enough time cleaning it, still feels like I’m caked in the stuff. Whatever... Right, status update… MP is down by… God, 70% now? It’s speeding up, and it's more unnerving to wonder what it’s counting down to. Cause _nothing is broken._ Everything _is fine…_ Huh, didn’t notice till now, but I’m crying. Maybe not all is fine. When did I lose my visor though… Wait a second.

 

Log 23 - Time [22:12:54]

It’s… better if you don't hear log 22, it’s gone anyway but… Can’t consume flesh, the boar’s meat just came out and I was helpless to stop it, despite the power I wield… It’s… black… I thought meat was red, with the exception of YoRHa flesh being white. Pain’s settling now, feels like my throat is dissolving but I gotta keep moving, keep going towards the Bunker despite the sickness and vertigo… Am I even going the right way anymore? And who… why are these logs important again? I think I’ll just… spend some time in silence, till the pain lessens.

 

Log 24 - Time [22:40:07]

85%... It isn't even an hour gone by. I don't have a logic virus, obvious enough. But what the hell am I counting down to? Uh… status update, right… MP’s mentioned, lost another finger to stave off the hunger, tastes bad but it'll get replaced anyway… Just wonder how long that’ll stay in my system before I’m forced to cough it out again… Might try to find an animal, self harm is good and all but until I reach YoRHa’s borders again, this is anything but debilirating… debilitating… I’m losing my words now? I think I’ll… yeah…

 

Log 25 - Time [23:06:30]

Down to 2% now, anxiety’s up, won’t deny that… But I swear, something’s… someone’s watching. I’m seeing these white eyes in the darkness of my vision, it's barely there, can't even talk to them. They just stare, like they know something I don't and it's just _hilarious_ right? Probably doesn't matter, but left arm’s skinless now, just to starve off this hunger. I mean, 0% and I die, right? Or something else happens? I did wonder if perhaps blinding myself may be a better option instead of ignoring these things. Of course, too cowardly, but it feels like nothing. What even is this state? This some kind of messed up simulation?... Maybe it’s just the life cycle of an E-type hitting home again… So far from this god forsaken forest… Ah, Operators… that's the name I was looking for. Well, sorry, I guess. Though fair warning before I lost thought, 1% now… If you guys find that factory, just… skip it. Heh… Wonder what’s gonna happen now, what I’ll forget.

 

Log 30 - Time [24:08:20]

… Nothing’s changed. What was even the worry? 0% MP and yet… not dead. Bird started following me though, white chested raven. Words are hazy, but I guess it's pretty, the word. Dunno why I still talk, forgot importance of it… Well, hunger first, gotta fix that.

 

Log 21 - Time [24:40:10]

Still following, pecking at the dead things I kill devour throw up repeat. Painful. Can't keel it down… but there’s less pressure on my stomach. Not heavy anymore not since… hurts… sword help it. Cut. It wide. And now, Just… watery, black and… Normal… Part of me, and a constant in this shell.

 

Log 22 - Time [26:50:21]

Stupid stupid _stupid_ … Sword’s broken. Tip’s gone. Don’t know where. Don’t matter. Can’t really hold… Guess I’ll… ow… that works... Don’t need to hold. Arm swings now. Hurts, though…

 

Log 23 - Time [27:00:00]

What’s… blood eagle? Sounds lovely honestly. Free to fly like that bird, no darkness in. Unburdened, no YoRHa… Who’s YoRHa… Doesn't matter. Could become this bird though. Free, flight, vlieg. What? Whatever… I’m it.

 

Log 24 - Time [31:50:24]

Hurts… hurts… worth it? Maybe… I… At least, have wings… So steely, shiny… Too

... heavy… disappointed. Maybe next time. Friend… It moves, hurts, cold, but _so damn wonderful…_ Wonderful… Can barely see it… want to… fly.

 

Log 25 - Time [33:20:10]

Another blade, dead another. Makes an ‘F’ if you look right, right bird? Hurts… not anymore, can't feel there, can’t know _doesn't matter._ Heh… Hell I’m doing now… no… fly. Other way!

 

Log 29 - Time [45:03:01]

Blonde… yellow… no more important… why do I still talk? Why is it black? Why is it weak why is it frail why is it useless _why is it human?_ What… human? Why tall? Useless useless useless ALL OF IT IS _USELESS_ …

…

Not so… Barely, but not so… Got me… this far… And yet… Sorry…

 

Log 33 - Time [54:06:06]

Feral. Feral… feral feral feral… Hahaha…

 

Log 36 - Time [60:06:06]

Dead? Not yet… not ever. Scraps... How badly can this bend? Hurts… _they twisted it_. No no no NO! Not like that!

…

...Fixed…

Spikes out, never in... Bestial, never YoRHa… Wings, never flight… Why… body's… folding it. Self.

 

Log 37 - Time [66:06]

Again… darkness… doesn't help… why then… What those?... Humans… _humans…_

 

Log 38 - Time [67]

Dead, all dead all gone ruined smashed. Same here's… Not human, not tall… Safer, less seen. Low ground. Bones hurt. Stop twist to... Some left, bleeding _crying_ shaking _cowards…_ No… Mistake here… Stop the static, stop the noise stop sound stop  signal stop logs stop system stop life… my life... before… Hah… ha… haha…

 

Log 40 - Time

Never. Home dark forest, home the dead machines home is game home is… the… for me, is home… _For monster as me_ ,  wasteland… forest…  place, memory thing…  don’t need speak anymore… _don't need human gifts don't need to be human don't need be fake do need animal_ …

…

…

 

Log 41

Coward… coward… coward… fears… too much them… too _human_. Decay...

_So speak I no more… but how do I rip it…? Bird?_


End file.
